Diary Post: Feeling inadequate

Nobody is perfect. You open instagram, see those perfect travel pictures; dream houses or “perfect parents.” None of that is 100% reality. Those parents will have had their ups and downs, those motivational bloggers will have their down moments… and that’s the norm.

A few nights ago, ironically when the whole country was huddled in suspense over the England World Cup match against Columbia, I was sat in my room on my bed. Just sat there. I was watching youtube videos, but the words and sounds just went over my head. I wasn’t there, I was sad and – not going to lie- a bit teary. I felt inadequate, average, worthless and downright pointless.

Diary Post: Feeling inadequate

I was fed up of not getting where I wanted to be and the fact that even when lowering my expectations of myself, I still hadn’t achieved them. I like to make myself goals, as you can see from my 2018 goals and even the update of them, but there’s a problem. All my life I have been a perfectionist and if I feel like it won’t, or isn’t perfect, I give up. I don’t complete things. I start books but don’t finish, I start scrapbooking, but don’t finish; the list goes on! The point is I was getting fed up and it just all struck me at once.

Another negative aspect of me, is my need for control. There are so many things in my life that I want but feel I have no control over at the moment. Yes, I have control over my education, my finances, my earnings, my job.. but there are some things that aren’t solely my decision and which I can’t start or begin.

The point of writing this post is not just for you but also for me. I need to acknowledge the negative and to try and resolve it with some positivity; even if it’s taken me a few days.Diary Post: Feeling inadequate

You matter. We all matter. We are all here for a reason, and even when things don’t go our way, we need to realise and remember this. Our struggles, obstacles and pains are lessons and development; our visions and dreams are our motivation and calling. Everything you ask for and want is well on its way and within reach, perhaps just not always in the time frame you want.

You have to start believing and keep listening. Stick to your guts, trust your instincts and don’t ignore them! They’re there to guide you and help you down the right path… the sat nav of your body. It’s time to believe and listen.Diary Post: Feeling inadequate

We’re all in the same boat and life can be rocky but don’t let yourself fall xxx

The Frugal Frenchie

Bold and daring makeup look: Shop with me!

As you can probably tell from the pictures (or lack thereof) of me, I am not one for photoshoots or bold makeup looks. In fact, this is the second time in my whole life that I’ve ever had a contoured face! Because I’m super happy with how the pictures turned out, I thought I’d share with you this bold makeup look in a “shop with me” way. Hope you enjoy a different type of post!

The Frugal Frenchie

Bold and daring makeup look: Shop with me!

All the following products are vegan and cruelty-free (which is so important to me) so let’s get into my transformation!

Preparation

I used my detox clay mask to get rid of any dry skin or blackheads that could ruin the texture of my makeup. There’s nothing worse than putting makeup on and then it being ruined by such an avoidable thing!

Bold and daring makeup look: Shop with me!

Bold and daring makeup look: Shop with me!

Bold and daring makeup look: Shop with me!

Face

After primer, the Arbonne foundation in the shade “Porcelain” was used, followed by one of my favourite products, the setting pretty powder. The foundation has got a vaccum pump, so there is no product wasted! I think that’s just so economically and environmentally friendly that it was worth mentioning.  Oh oh and I didn’t even need any concealer because the foundation just had such good coverage!

That was just for the bare basics, but Emily then added some blush in the tone “Dusty rose,” which I thought made my normally unexistent cheekbones look nice and distinguished. The last touch was, of course, bronzer which really helped my face gain definition in front of the camera.

Bold and daring makeup look: Shop with me!

Bold and daring makeup look: Shop with me!

Bold and daring makeup look: Shop with me!

Eyes and brows

For me, this was probably the most exciting part. As somebody who has hay fever, I avoid mascara during the summer and in winter… well I don’t have that excuse, I just don’t know what to do! I used to love doing eyeshadow in the past, but it was the kids’ glittery, neon colour type of look so best move on by your twenties!

I absolutely loved what Emily did for my eyes. She thankfully knows her stuff and combined several colours that I loved and suited me so well. For eyeshadow, the shades “Opal” was used on the majority of my lid, with the shades ““Sunstone,”” and “Canyon,” combined together in the corners. It gave a kind of night/desert feel and I love it!

I used Arbonne’s mascara too, which can I just say, is an amazing one, made my eyelashes super quick and I was actually putting minimal on as I hate it when my eyelashes feel clumpy or stuck! For my brows, we simply filled them in with a brown brow pencil (not sure which shade but it comes in light, medium and dark)!

Bold and daring makeup look: Shop with me!

Bold and daring makeup look: Shop with me!

Lips

For the first look, I’m wearing a hazel lipgloss and my lips are outlined by an MUA, shade caramel (I think) lip liner. In the second look, we actually combined several shades to match the jumper, but it was fun to create! You all seemed to love this shade on Instagram, although I had never seen myself in such a bright colour!

Bold and daring makeup look: Shop with me!

A massive thanks to Emily who did my makeup, if you’re in the Dorset area and need anyone for weddings or prom, then you need to check out her Instagram and send her an email!

Another big thanks to Amber who took the photos, she’s doing bargain priced photoshoots at the moment, also in the Dorset area. Here’s her page if you’d like to find out more!

*Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links

An update on my goals for 2018

With it now being the middle of the year, I thought it’d be a good time to give you an update on my goals for 2018. If you haven’t read the initial post, you can read it here, if not, I’ll get started; enjoy!

The Frugal Frenchie

In terms of the socialising aspect, I feel (for me) I’ve done pretty well! I’ve gone on two outings with my colleagues, I’ve met up with friends a few times – one of which I hadn’t seen in two years- and I met new people when I went for a photoshoot a few days ago. That’s compared to last year where the most socialising I did, was going downstairs and hanging out with my housemates for a few hours.

An update on my goals for 2018

This is a mid goal I’m going to give to myself though, take more pictures! Of all those outings, I only have one picture and I even went to a wedding yesterday and only took one of my boyfriend and I. I always think about pictures and want to take them, but I always feel awkward for asking… any tips for getting over that? I have barely any memories and regret it every time!

Concerning the blog, I feel like I have been making more of an effort. I still need to work on consistency, but I feel like my following has grown a decent amount. I’ve hosted two giveaways, written and received guest posts and I’m still working towards my first ever sponsored post.

I think the biggest difference towards blogging is my “mindset.” Instead of something massive happening and then thinking oh this could be a good blogpost, I’ll try brainstorm how I could make more mundane things into a blogpost or while looking at social media, what people are talking about etc. My photography still needs a lot of improvement, but without a “photoshoot buddy,” or good quality camera, I feel it can be discouraging so I have no shame in using copyright free images sometimes.

An update on my goals for 2018

With my business, I haven’t reached my promotion yet, in fact, I’ve put it on the back shelf for a while, but I still think it’d be a nice goal. Instead, I got another job opportunity at Primark, so job wise, there have been developments there. Hopefully, that new job opportunity will offer me new skills sets that’ll be useful in future and look impressive on my CV.

I have now finished university, and am still awaiting my score for this year; hopefully, I’ll get my 2:1! If not, I know I will be disappointed, but it’s important to remind myself that this is only 30% of my degree, and that next year I’ll just have to work twice as hard to compensate.

Are you still on track with your new year goals? How are they going? Let me know in the comments below!

Advice with Annelies: girlfriend’s depression

This series will answer people’s questions or worries, either that have been asked to me or I wanted to give my opinion on. Of course, these are just suggestions, and if the problem is severe, you should seek professional help or advice. This addition’s topic of Advice with Annelies: girlfriend’s depression.

Advice with Annelies: girlfriend's depression

This is a long one and there is a lot to approach, but you can read the whole question (from reddit) below.

My girlfriend is depressed because of her parents. from Advice

Oh gosh, where to start? First of all, can I just say how great you’re doing at looking out for your girlfriend and that I’m so glad she can confide in you- especially when she doesn’t seem to have anyone else. It’s often easier to keep such thoughts to yourself, but you’re clearly a massive support for her.

Advice with Annelies: girlfriend's depression

“…she was unable to graduate on time this year because of her depression, which only made her parents angrier. Now she’s being pressured to find a full-time job when she is trying to improve her mental health first.”

It’s such an awful situation when parents don’t understand the severity of a mental health illness and acting in anger or disappointment definitely doesn’t help. As with the job, however, mental health does need to come first, and in the grand scheme of things, taking a year out will not hinder her future in any way, so I think that was the right move.

Regarding the job, is this a “to keep you occupied” reason or a “you need to earn some money reason?” If it’s the former, there are lots of other things she can do to keep her busy, especially as it may mean keeping her cognitively challenged and giving her goals and aims for the day. If it is the latter, then maybe it’d be a good compromise with the parents, to try and ease into part-time first and then full time later on. Alternatively, if there is angst about going into the world of work, perhaps, to help you both, you could research different methods of earning money. Depending on your location, there are many possible ideas such as participating in surveys, mystery shopping or ebay reselling etc.

“Long story short, I feel helpless. I don’t know what to do, if there’s anything I can do, to help her in this situation. I simply want to take her away from them but can’t afford to.”

By what you said, it definitely sounds like she could have depression, but taking medication should also be taken alongside therapy if this is possible. It is unfair for you to take the burden, speaking to a professional may really help her; especially concerning coping methods for being at home etc. In terms of what you should do next, it is difficult because I don’t know how much power you have/your age/your living situation.

If you live at home, is there a way for her to stay if she pays rent (maybe you could go halves?) or could you maybe rent out a very small place together? In the ideal situation, you would perhaps move in with each other so she can get away from the environment that is potentially the cause or trigger of her depression. However, I realise that this may not be possible, and visiting may not be often if you don’t drive etc. I’ve left some ideas on how to help in the next section.

Advice with Annelies: girlfriend's depression

“Are there any suggestions of what I could do to help other than being a shoulder to cry on? Should I confront her parents or just stay out of it?”

Personally, I would try and encourage her to seek professional help. If she has difficulty trusting adults as a result of her parents’ opinions and reactions to her mental health, try and reassure her that not everyone is like this and that they could genuinely help her. Another thing that could help, is with her mental and physical wellbeing. Especially if she can spend days in bed, try and encourage her to maybe take a walk occasionally and make sure she is eating correctly etc. Not only is it important for her to maintain her physical health, but exercise can also help give her a goal for the day and keep her busy, especially if she is not working.

I would not confront her parents about it, especially if they realise that she is in bed due to depression etc. but doesn’t take it seriously. She is still at home, and if unless you’re sure of how they’d react, you don’t know if it could potentially make the home environment even more awkward or tense for her.

I really hope this has helped and I wish you all the best! Hopefully, their understanding betters soon and that circumstances change for you both for the better!

The Frugal Frenchie

I’ve finished my second year at university

I’ve finished! It’s such a relief to be done with exams and soon entering my third and final year of university, where all the “exciting” stuff happens! I was planning to do a 6-month update since my first week in second year, but I thought I might as well wait an extra month and then talking about finishing my second year at university. Enjoy!

The Frugal Frenchie

So, where to start?

From October to January I had my first two topics which were BioPsychology and Personality, Intelligence and Social Psychology (PINS). I was a little daunted by the biological subject as, if any of you know me from earlier education, I suck at science and maths (ironic I know). It’s not a matter of not understanding, it’s just I struggle to remember it and ask so many questions that I end up confusing myself or being frustrated by knowing things “half-heartedly.” PINS was a lot more orientated around my interests, how people act and why, how society can affect our judgements or what society, in general, does psychologically.

I've finished my second year at university

In January, we had two exams, both three hours each. For me, these were my first English university exams so I was rather apprehensive about what to expect. The workload was a lot less this term, but examiners are amazing at making themselves unpredictable so that was no reassurance for me! The biological exam consisted of 50% multiple choice questions (50 questions) and 50% short essay questions. I felt at times I had a complete mind blank, but it was great to not feel time pressure as it meant I could come back to them later on. I ended up getting 2% off a first – felt so close yet so far haha. The PINS exam consisted simply of three long essays. I thought the questions were great and I had no trouble in answering them, finishing 10 minutes early out of a possible three hours! I was 5% off a first in that exam.

From January to the end of May, we had two new topics: Developmental and Clinical Psychology (DEVCLIN) and Cognition and Language (CAL). Honestly, I let out a large sigh after writing CAL. CAL was an absolute nightmare. I just couldn’t get into it as a subject. It was very detailed and, how to put it…. not very interesting. We went through things like how one goes from hearing sounds to identifying words, or different theories on how we understand sentences. Actually, in summary, it sounds interesting, but not so much when learning it! DEVCLIN was much more fascinating, I felt that that’s what you wait to learn when you start a psychology degree. We discussed how children develop mentally, what they are capable of at which age etc. In fact, I gave an example of this, explaining why young children can’t lie. The clinical side is more self-explanatory, discussing the symptoms, treatments and causes of several disorders, such as OCD, Social Anxiety Disorder, PTSD, to name a few.  I found this so interesting and it’s definitely something I’m interested in learning more about next year.

I've finished my second year at university

On the 21st and 23rd May I had my last two exams of the year! CAL, unsurprisingly was horrid, I have no idea what to expect for it and similarly have no idea of how I performed. Hopefully, I’ll surprise myself, though the questions tested my understanding of the topic, which unfortunately I felt I lacked in this case. DEVCLIN had good questions, and I felt that I could answer them with sufficient detail and that I knew enough to write a good 3 or more pages about them. I must say though that my memory for references was appalling – not sure how that influences the marking though!

I've finished my second year at university

There it is, a very brief summary of my second year at university! Best not to dwell on the exams, or the coursework that I had (I had some for every topic and 4 for statistics) and just move on and brainstorm for next year! I have to decide what I’d like to research for my dissertation, eeeek.

How To Get Started Paying Off Your Debt

This is a guest post by the amazing Francesca over at frompenniestopounds! She’s had experience with debt, and overcoming it, so I thought who would be better to give some advice on how to start paying off your debt!

The Frugal Frenchie

When you realise that you have a bit of a debt problem, it can be a bit overwhelming in knowing where to start tackling it and making a plan to get rid of it completely!

Paying the minimum payments each month is the slowest possible way of doing it, not to mention spending an absolute fortune on interest costs. Paying off your debt is one of the best feelings ever, as crossing the monthly payment amounts off your budget is so satisfying. Furthermore, without debt payments,  you are freeing yourself up for better things, such as money spent on holidays, retirement, having fun, and security for your family.

Add up all of your debt

This is the first step, but it can definitely feel like one of the scariest. Ignorance is bliss, and knowing that you will have the numbers in front of you and can’t avoid them, can be pretty overwhelming, and quite frankly, upsetting. It will all be worth it, however – once you’ve started tackling the debt you’re on your way to getting it sorted and being financial free again!

How To Get Started Paying Off Your Debt

Go into your internet banking and look at the direct debit/standing order section, as this is where the monthly debts that you pay the minimum payment for will be. Have a look at your bank statements (either online or paper versions) and check through to see if there are any other payments that you make towards loans etc that you may not have direct debits set up for. Do you pay some of your debt in cash, e.g. for kids classes?

Write down all of your debts and how much you owe in total, and how much the monthly repayments are currently. Don’t worry about what order to put them in yet as we will be tackling that in the next step.

Find out the interest rates

This is really, really important, and not something that you should skip despite the temptation. It’ll probably mean going back through all of your paperwork to find out when you took the debt out and which interest rate it was on.

Go through all of your paperwork, and if you can’t find it, make sure that you find out the interest rates and when they run out/increase. If you can’t find the paperwork then you will have to ring up the company in question and ask them.

How To Get Started Paying Off Your Debt

This is essential as you could be paying out a ton of money on something that you don’t need to be! Interest means that you will end up spending potentially thousands more than you need to, especially as interest rates aren’t fixed – so they will likely increase after a certain period of time… definitely look it up or ring the company!

Interest rates are also a good way to look at which debt to pay off first – do you pay off the debt with the highest interest first, which will probably make sense mathematically, or do you go for the smallest debt first for the psychological benefits? This is a completely personal choice, there’s no right or wrong answer; whichever is of biggest priority to you.

Once you have found your interest rates for each of your debts, it may be time to look at doing a balance transfer. Please note that this is not for everyone, and you need to be sensible about this. You need to know that you will not – under any circumstance – give in and go back to getting into more debt.
If you are 100% committed to paying off debt and know that you will not slip up, you can look at getting a 0% balance transfer. I personally did this for one of my credit cards when I was paying off debt, and it saved me loads of money in interest.

How To Get Started Paying Off Your Debt

However, doing a 0% balance transfer means taking out a new line of credit – which not everyone will be eligible for. A good resource for this is Money Saving Expert, where they will be able to tell you if you are likely to be accepted or not, and the best ones that are out there.

Even though a 0% balance transfer sounds amazing, don’t forget that it’s like most debt – the interest rate can change. There are usually set dates when the 0% interest rate will vanish and the interest rate will go up again. This is something to bear in mind if you do decide to go down this route – will you pay it off before the 0% runs out?

Create a budget

Budgets are one of the most efficient ways of making sure that your money is working as best for you as it possibly can. After all, no-one wants to spend their money on pointless stuff, do they? If you could spend less money on your electricity bill and then have that extra money for a night out or something fun (even paying off debt, I promise you that it does turn into a bit of a game!), you would, wouldn’t you?

When it comes to making your budget, start with all of your incoming money – salary (after tax), benefits, child maintenance etc.  This can be a bit more complicated if you don’t get the same amount every month coming in but don’t worry, just put down the average or minimum amount that you will definitely be receiving.

How To Get Started Paying Off Your Debt

The next step is the one that most people find the trickiest, because if you don’t already have a budget or aren’t keeping track of it, you may not have a clue how much is going out of your account each month. I’m talking about adding up all of your expenses. Go through your bank statements (either on your internet banking or paper statements), and add up everything – this will enable you to get the best picture of the money that is going out of your account each month. If you guess on the variable expenses e.g. groceries, you could leave yourself short.

Your internet banking should also have a section that lists all of your direct debits and standing orders and the dates that they come out, but don’t forget any expenses that you pay for annually such as car insurance.

My favourite way of budgeting is the zero-sum method – which is where all of your money is allocated. So for example, say you have your income at £1000 per month and your expenses at £800 (in an ideal world mine would be this low!), this would leave you with £200. The temptation to spend this £200 on whatever takes your fancy is too strong, so instead of leaving yourself that money floating around, you allocate it – for example £100 into your savings, £100 towards your Christmas fund.

Reduce Your Expenses

Now that you’ve got all of your expenses listed, you can see exactly how much is going out of your account. But what if you could have less money going out each month? You can do this by cutting out things – such as cancelling gym memberships, cinema passes, TV packages etc, and you can also do this by switching providers on what you currently have e.g. TV, internet, electricity etc.

It is quite overwhelming to try and reduce all of your expenses at once, so perhaps pick one to focus on at first and see if you can get it cheaper elsewhere.

Earn Extra Income

Now that you’ve got your expenses as low as you possibly can, the fastest way to then get rid of your debt is to increase the money that is coming in. A great thing to do is aim to have one or more income streams dedicated solely to paying off your debt – that way you don’t have to reduce your expenses any more and feel too deprived.

Ways that you could earn extra income could be:

  • Matched betting
  • Mystery shopping
  • Answering surveys
  • Dog boarding/pet sitting
  • House sitting
  • Blogging
  • Freelance writing
  • Entering competitions
  • Selling your stuff on eBay, Gumtree, Facebook marketplace, car boot sales etc
  • Re-selling (where you buy stuff cheap and sell on for higher prices for a profit)

Are you on a debt payoff journey? Are there any tips that you could add to the above?