Advice with Annelies: catfish

This series will answer people’s questions or worries, either that have been asked to me or I wanted to give my opinion on. Of course, these are just suggestion, and if the problem is severe, you should seek professional help or advice. This addition’s topic of Advice with Annelies: catfish.

I’ve experienced two catfishes now. I am slowly losing faith in the male kind. I just can’t take it anymore, far too many f**kboys, mind games and catfishers for me”

Sounds like you’ve received the bad end of the stick in regards to men, which, admittedly sucks.

Advice with Annelies: catfish Having personally binged the series “Catfish” many times, I realise how bad it can leave the victim feeling so I hope that after having discovered those two bastards, you can grow and successfully move on with your life. They’re not worth your time or thoughts! I hope that the following advice is useful for you.

“I am slowly losing faith in the male kind.”

Don’t let this be the case! This is a very very small proportion of the available single men out there, so don’t let this leave a sour taste in your mouth. There are many things you can do from here, one being maybe avoid dating apps for a while, just allow you to “detox” a little and go back to it after with a fresh mindset.

If it does start affecting you mentally or your self-esteem, don’t hesitate to talk to someone about it or rant to people close to you to get it out of your system. Remember that the people who have to pretend to be someone else, probably aren’t too confident or fond of themselves either, so don’t let this impact your perspective or opinion of men in general. They’re not all bad, and you will find somebody out there for you!

Advice with Annelies: catfish

“Far too many f**kboys, mind games and catfishers for me”

Another thing you could do is try and find a new way to meet guys. Perhaps joining an association or club somewhere where you could meet somebody with similar interests? Or maybe taking a risk and trusting your friend’s judgement to set up a blind date for you?

In terms of the catfishers, a good way of finding out whether somebody is catfishing you is to ask to do a video chat. If they continually make up excuses then you’re right to have suspicions. Having spoken with you, something you did very cleverly, which I would recommend to others, is to do a reverse image search, which is where you take an image that the person supposedly took of themselves, and see if it comes up with any matches elsewhere on google.

I really hope that your future experiences online are more positive and that you don’t ever get catfished again, you deserve better. Do keep in touch!

The Frugal Frenchie

Advice with Annelies: loneliness

This series will answer people’s questions or worries, either that have been asked to me or I wanted to give my opinion on. Of course, these are just suggestion, and if the problem is severe, you should seek professional help or advice. Here’s the first Advice with Annelies: loneliness.

“I am 28 years old. I feel very alone and lonely most of the time. What should I do to overcome this? I don’t have friends or close relatives and am home 24/7.”

Of course, everyone’s situation is different, but to some extent, I understand how you feel. Last year, I studied a year abroad, away from family, and although I spoke to people at uni, I didn’t have anybody that I would see outside of it. I stayed at home whenever I wasn’t at uni, and only leave the house for grocery shopping.

In retrospect (because isn’t that a joyous thing) I think there are a few things I would change, which hopefully could help you.

Advice with Annelies: loneliness

“Am home 24/7.”

I really went wrong here. When in a situation of loneliness, you have to go out. It’s what keeps you sane. I realise when not at university, sometimes it can be harder to meet people and have an incentive to go out but have a look at what’s around you.

It’s important to get out of the house, even when there’s no particular motive to do so. A change in routine and scenery, is, to be blunt, good for your sanity. Having fresh air, taking a walk… it all helps relax your mind, put things into perspective, for some, it even acts as a form of meditation!

“I don’t have friends”

If you have a particular interest, look up on Facebook, or through the local library, whether there’s an association or club for it: if you like reading, see if there’s a Book Club… that kind of thing! Surrounding yourself with like-minded people is a great way to make connections as you’re guaranteed to have a common interest and a conversation starter!

Furthermore, if you work or are in education, make sure to attend as many events or trips as you can. If there’s a work do, make sure you attend, and you could use the excuse to speak to new people by asking if they’re going etc.

Advice with Annelies: loneliness

“I don’t have… close relatives”

Thankfully, we live in a world where it’s possible to keep in contact with people across long distances. If they have access to a phone or computer, you can skype them or just ring them and hear their voices.

If worst comes to the worst, you’ll just have to wait impatiently for the next letter to arrive, but it can make them feel all that more precious!

I wish you all the best!

The Frugal Frenchie