Can you love others before loving yourself?

A tweet caught my attention the other day. At first, it seemed innocent, but upon further thought, I realised that this statement could actually be debated. As a result, here’s my response to this post and my answer to the question “Can you love others before loving yourself?”

Can you love others before loving yourself?

In my opinion, this statement, idea, principle… whatever you want to call it, could be taken one of two ways.

I think it’s possible to agree with this tweet if the “love yourself” part is expanded upon a little more. If “love yourself” means understanding what you deserve and understanding your worth, then I would agree with this 100%.

Can you love others before loving yourself?

I may be incorrect in saying so, as I’m just having the head of a psychology student on, but I think this is what many victims of domestic abuse struggle with. Whether you watch Dr. Phil or documentaries about the subject, you’ll often hear domestic victims becoming so manipulated that they thought it was normal, or that they deserved that treatment, or that their life was of no importance compared to their partners’. These victims had lost the love for themselves. They may have constantly been criticised about their appearance or beaten up for the slightest “mistake.” Do they really know how to love another when their idea of a healthy relationship and love is so skewed?

It takes an understanding of your self-worth to realise that that treatment isn’t what you deserve, you are better than that and how they are treating you. You deserve much much more. Is this maybe what the writer of the tweet had in mind initially?

After real consideration, however, I did see the negative implications of this tweet and that actually it may come across very offensive for many people.

“Love yourself” appeared very direct and with a literal meaning. I then thought that maybe it was talking about self-confidence, high self-esteem, loving your body and other things along those lines. Now I don’t know about you, but I wasn’t completely sure of what link this had with the capability of loving others? Surely loving yourself and loving others isn’t correlated or either mutually exclusive? It’s completely “person dependent.”

Can you love others before loving yourself?

Some people may have issues with their bodies or feel very uncomfortable in their own skin. That doesn’t mean that they can’t love their family? Or love their pets? Or love their partners? There’s no link! There are people with eating disorders that may be unable to be satisfied with their bodies, or unable to eat healthily, but that doesn’t mean they can’t feel the warmth or comfort from being in others’ company or caring for other people?

Similarly, this can apply to any other mental illness. Those with PTSD or depression or bipolar disorder… doesn’t mean there’s nobody they can love? If we go by the statistic that 1 in 4 (or some people say 1 in 3) people will have a mental health illness at some point in their lives, then that’s a lot of single people out there! It’s actually quite an absurd thought! If anything, those who don’t love themselves may love others more simply because of the joy they bring them and how good they make them feel!

What is your interpretation of this tweet? What would your answer to this question be? Let me know in the comments below, it’s an interesting topic!

The Frugal Frenchie x


How I got my current job

I am so excited to announce that I have a new job! For most of you, this won’t be news to your ears, but I thought I’d talk a little bit about the journey and how I got to my current job!

How I got my current job

For those who haven’t known me long enough, I used to work in a company called Explore Learning, which was a tuition service offering English, Maths and other help to children from 4-14 years old. Although I never disliked it, I felt that it wasn’t possible to continue to teach once I left the UK to study abroad in the Netherlands. They did offer me a holiday contract, which I accepted, but there was actually never enough time to go back. This meant that in June 2017, we mutually decided that it would be a good idea to end my contract.

My plans by that time had started to change, however. I had applied for UCAS and I was in the process of writing my personal statement for a year 2 transfer back to the UK. A month and a bit later, I found out that I got accepted into year 2 of my hometown university, Bournemouth. I was very excited and took it as a sign of fate as other universities either hadn’t got back to me in time or didn’t accept me. Coming back to my hometown means that a lot more opportunities were open up to me; one of them being a new job.

My first point of call was Primark. I’m not sure why maybe I just had a good feeling about it from the start? Maybe I fancied starting something new without realising? I’m not sure, but I went straight to their vacancy website before attempting anything else. I have experience with Primark in the past actually, but not a good one. In 2015, I applied in October for a retail assistant position in the hopes they’d employ me as a Christmas temp (I thought I’d give them time to consider aha). Anyway, they came back to me in January saying that they didn’t need me- which was no surprise by then!

As a result, I had no real expectations when I applied this year, but boy they’ve upped their game! They replied to me in less than 24 hours and I had an interview three days later. From there, I had my induction the next day and by a week after my initial interview, I had already done two shifts! It was so impressive and it all moved so quickly, I think they were extremely professional and I’m thrilled to be there! (And yes, I still stand by this two months later)!

How did you get to your current job? Or are you thinking of changing jobs? Let me know as it’s always an interesting topic!

The Frugal Frenchie x

15 new hobby ideas

The importance of self-care is really being emphasised in today’s society. I absolutely love it and couldn’t encourage it more. We are so often occupied by tasks or social media, that we often don’t take enough time out to just relax and breathe a little. For this reason, I thought I’d put together 15 new hobby ideas for you to try and to give a break from everyday life!

  1. Embroidery

Take a look at this gorgeous piece by Lauren for example. How stunning is this?! You can also see what else she’s embroidered on her Etsy (as well as some other cute art pieces).

15 new hobby ideas

  1. Sew
  2. Knit
  3. Crochet
  4. Write some poetry

With the increased awareness of mental health issues and an increasing number of people speaking out about their experiences, I couldn’t forget to mention Charlene‘s new poetry book: Melancholy Mind. It’s filled with her original poems all about her experiences as well as sections about coping and recovery too.

15 new hobby ideas

(Photo credit goes to Adam)

Poetry can help express your emotions and help you cope with the struggles of life in general, so why not give poetry a go as your new hobby?

  1. Write a story
  2. Start a blog
  3. Gardening
  4. Start a side hustle
  5. Start a collage/scrapbook

An artist that I’m currently loving at the moment is Jemma over at dorkfaceblog. She has an incredible Etsy store filled with prints, paintings and collages as well as sharing her more private artwork on her Instagram. This has to be one of my favourite pieces!15 new hobby ideas

Scrapbooking or collaging is also a great way of reminiscing or preserving memories which can also be a good boost for mental health. Try and forget the negatives and focus on the good times.

  1. Start a diary
  2. DIY project
  3. Redecorate
  4. Start a new sport
  5. Paint

Another artist I am loving (and have actually bought two prints from for later Christmas presents), is Tarnya. She has a really unique style turning our beloved Disney characters (and others) into beautiful, watercolour prints. I personally bought the Marie print and the Monster’s Inc ones and can’t wait to frame them!

15 new hobby ideas

Painting can be so therapeutic, even if it’s just playing with colours and mixing shades. Turn off social media, light a candle, and get those paint brushes out!

What were your favourite hobby ideas? Do you do any of these already? Let me know! xx

The Frugal Frenchie x

How to survive long distance relationships

Trying to survive long distance relationships can be difficult. If you don’t have the means or time to see each other often, it can really form a strain. My boyfriend and I have had our share of experiences with this and my ex actually lived in France, so I’m hoping these little tips that helped me, can be useful for you too.

Social media

Nowadays, everyone is on social media but there are some particular features that can really help in a relationship. Skype or Facebook calls, in particular, are great, as it allows you to make voice or video calls for free. It’s easy to just chat online, but face to face adds that more personal touch and when you’re feeling down, hearing your partner’s voice can be exactly what you need!

Love letters

Although technology does us a million favours from easing uni research to allowing us to email people from around the world, it has slightly ruined the romance between communication. If you have a penpal, you may understand the excitement of waiting for a letter or the even bigger surprise and receiving an unexpected one! Letters can be a great way to make your partner’s day, especially if there’s a time difference and it means you can’t often communicate “live.”

Talk of the future

I remember when my boyfriend and I were feeling particularly down and in need of company, talking of the future would often cheer us up. Just speaking of plans for next you see each other, or where you would love to go on holiday together etc. If you’re older, then maybe fantasise about where you’d want to get married etc. it really does add that buzz and romance to a relationship.

Learn about each other’s schedule

This might sound a little possessive, but I think it can mean a lot to the other person. It’s like the parent equivalent of “how did X go,” except you’re flattered they remembered and you want to tell them all about it. It’s often hard to do when you’re not living with each other but that little extra effort sure will be appreciated. It’s a very coupley thing to do and it can make your relationship that much stronger!

Doing similar things

You might be thinking “oh no that’s just as sickly as wearing matching clothes,” but it’s actually quite a fun and an engaging idea for you and your partner. Having something you can relate to or motivate each other over, will add a little variety to the everyday conversations and liven things up a bit! It doesn’t have to be a hobby or skill, it could be a joint project or allocating roles for a certain event you have coming up. Be creative and see what you can come up with!

These are just a few ideas of many. Do you use any other tricks? What did you find helpful? Let me know in the comments below!

The Frugal Frenchie x

Diary post: a trip to Calshot beach

The week of the 23rd May, I decided to visit my boyfriend and my family for a week. We did lots of awesome things (as the week later I had exams so wanted to make the most of it), one of them including visiting Calshot beach.

Diary post: a trip to Calshot beach

Even though it’s quite close to my boyfriend’s house, I’d never actually been before but it ended up being such a lovely trip. It reminded me a little of the beach near my Grandma’s house in the north of France so it made it that little bit more special.

It was so nice to just walk arms linked together (I love doing that, not sure why though) and just chat about future plans, thoughts on current “life events” and listen to him talk about anecdotes from when he came here when he was younger.

Oh, and we treated ourselves to the forever delicious New Forest ice cream. I mean can we just appreciate this jaffa cake and bubble gum flavoured ice cream?

Diary post: a trip to Calshot beach

We actually stayed for such a long time that the tide went completely out. We arrived there at first just dipping our toes in the sea and by the time we left, we were walking where previously would’ve been too far to swim!

Location wise, we’re just on the edge of Southampton and to the right of the picture in the distance you can see Portsmouth as well as the ferry that was going to the Isle of Wight!

We consequently just started walking around barefoot on the sand, spotting crabs and limpets and just loving seeing the nature in their natural habit. Or, as my boyfriend nicely put it, “we’re in their territory now.”

We attempted taking pictures of them, but they camouflage so well it just looks like a big mess!

Have you been to any new places recently? What was it like? I’ve decided that I will definitely go to more new places in future, so other nearby beaches are next on the list!

The Frugal Frenchie x

Diary post: our 5 euro trip to Madame Tussauds

On the 17th July, the day before we were due to leave for the UK and start our summer holiday, we decided to take a very impulsive trip to Amsterdam. Once there we went to go see Madame Tussauds and here’s what I thought of it.

Normally, Madame Tussauds is around 25 euros per person, but luckily, with vouchers, I managed to get it down to 5 euros for two people, including tax! How?

Well, as you may know, if you follow my blog, I started Maastricht University in August 2016 to study psychology. A compulsory part of this course was to do a minimum of 20 hours of research participation to help year 3 students or PhD students. Unfortunately, we weren’t paid, but we did receive some vouchers called VVV vouchers. Upon looking at what they could be spent on, I was extremely disappointed. They were mostly sports shops or cafes or other establishments where I would definitely not be spending my money at.

That is, of course, when I saw that we could spend them at Madame Tussauds….

As my first visit in a Madame Tussauds I was very impressed by the quality of the wax figures and the sheer resemblance of them. I loved how everything was displayed and the general layout of the museum. We met some of the greatest music artists of the decade and then went back in time to some of the greatest artists of this century!

I was disappointed at a few things, however, but I shan’t dwell on these as I did get to visit for almost free. The first thing I noted was there actually weren’t that many figures. There was a little hall at the beginning where ET, Freddie Mercury and Angelina Jolie were displayed because they were clearly anomalies. It’s odd to think about Jolie being an anomaly, but going through the museum, I soon realised why: there were no actresses or any actors!

The sections were very limited which was probably why the museum was so sparse and had so much room for décor and details. In the sport section, there were only three footballers (one of whom I had never heard of), there was one tennis player (Nadal), a gymnast I never heard of and another figure that was so insignificant to me I can’t remember them. I was surprised that they didn’t even have Kim Clijsters, who, although is Belgian, I thought would have more significance to them than Nadal.

The music section was a lot more impressive. Again, they didn’t have very many figures but that whole floor was so well presented that I forgave them very quickly! There were old vinyl’s covering the walls, music blaring out, and coincidentally, very relevantly, Ariana Grande on a big stage surrounded by fake smoke and in a stunning dress. She was the “centre piece.”

There were also big names like Adele, Taylor Swift and Michael Jackson. There were also some Dutch DJs/radio presenters but of course, they need to put some of their own culture in too!

The other floors did surprise me in terms of what they had chosen: they had a tonne of marvel characters (which my boyfriend loved), an artist section and an “inspiration section.” Although this was just spread out across the space of a mundane house’s hallway, I had so much respect for them for including these figures. They made Anne Frank, Barack Obama, Angela Merkel, Ghandi, Dhali Lama and Nelson Mandela!

Overall, for 5 euros of entertainment, it was good little trip and it was great fun being vain next to all these celebrities. I was expecting a little more, and I don’t think I would go again paying full price, but I really appreciate the experience and the opportunity to visit one of these famous Madame Tussaud museums.

Have you ever been to a Madame Tussauds or the one in Amsterdam particularly? What did you think of it? Let me know in the comments below!

The Frugal Frenchie x